Happy Thanksgiving!

So I headed up to DC to spend Thanksgiving at my trainer's house, and check out the feast he put on:

That bird was pretty darn juicy..I was even eating the skin!

Sweet potatoes with peanut butter, caramel and pecans..WOW.

Italian sausage and apple stuffing..it literally tasted like pizza, no joke.

Oh lasagna..I haven't eaten pasta in ages!

And some gravy..

To go with the creamy garlic mashed potatoes..

My final plate..yummy.

Thanksgiving was a nice break from training/dieting..but I'm back on schedule today..did some bicep curls, some cardio, relaxed in the sauna today..I feel ready to getting back to eating clean and dieting again, and trying to stay lean (even though I literally gained 5 pounds overnight..I weighed 122 before Thursday and came in at 127.6 today, haha). Still practicing on how to refeed properly, but I think I'm getting it down :]

That's it for now, have a happy Thanksgiving everyone :]

Yay for video!

Finally I taught myself some techie skills and I learned how to rip a DVD! Check out these clips of the short class mandatory poses and my routine/posedown..enjoy! :)

More photos!

Some more shots of me at my first competition..enjoy!

Ms Penn 2009

check out some photos from the show.

got second in my class..not bad for 4 months of training :)

4 days out

I'm in the final week of prep..4 days away..almost at the end of my water load..

looking very stringy :(







at least i can say i have default abs :)    

2 weeks out..it's getting closer..

Check me out some more :) Oh man I really need to stop slacking off and start working on my routine..but I'm soo sleepy :(

3 weeks out (cram and jam version)

Hey everyone,

I only had a sliver of time to go over some posing, so check it out..right here in a huntsman hall lecture room..as always enjoy :)

Stopping by to say hi.

Sometimes posting a video is a lot easier than typing..enjoy and have a restful Sunday night :)

Some more practice.

Sorry it's divided into two parts..but enjoy!

5 weeks out

And I'm slowly getting to where I want to be..

My abs are slowly coming out..that's always pleasing :)



another ab check, as always..can't wait for those lower abs to pop :)



posing is looking better,,just have to work out the finer kinks of footwork and posing

check out those quads..and I keep forgetting to smile >.<

That pose is going to be tough to work on since I'm barely looking at my back :(

Posting videos is kind of addicting.

And yes, another video to entertain you with..a bit of posing practice. I know it's terrible, but it helps me figure out what I suck at/need to work on. Note all the confusion I have in trying to figure out what pose to do. Still trying to plan out and smooth my transitions as well. Enjoy!

How to get jacked overnight? Eat a ton of carbs.

Check me out today after only doing 1 hour of cardio on Sunday (rather than killing myself on the elliptical) and just loading up on carbs all Sunday. My arms look so much better :)

Check me out on YouTube.

So I decided to be a little daring this morning and I updated my trainer with a video progress report, rather than using photos. Too bad my voice sounds like I've been sucking on helium.


I just had a suprise refeed today so my abs have already disappeared haha. Enjoy the clip :)

Some food for thought. And a moment of gratitude.

So I'm here at work, studying for my exam and listening to some music, dozing off since it's hard for me to focus because I have no coffee and I'm low on carbs, and I can't help but think of how I feel like I'm slowly hitting a wall. Training is getting so intense, calories are getting slashed, and I'm not sure if I can make it through 5 1/2 more weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a quitter, it's just hard for me to hold on to my mental sharpness at the moment. And I still haven't choreographed my routine yet. Ugh.

In tough times like these, I'm reminded of a small conversation I had with my posing instructor, and how profoundly it hit me. Very often everyday I have my points of weakness, where I don't want to do morning cardio, I'd much rather sleep, I ache all over, I want that dessert, or that junk food, or I just try to make every excuse in the world not to go to the gym and bail out on my lifts. I think of the wisdom he passed onto me, and it pushes me through:

"To get up everyday, against every fiber in your being, to fight the temptation, to resist what is easy and pleasing at the moment, to go to that gym every single day and push yourself to the point where you can't breathe, where you're red in the face and have nothing else left in you, that's LOVE right there. To go in there and subject yourself to almost what seems like physical torment and torture, to give your sweat and all your strength, you really have to LOVE yourself, because you come out a better person after it's all done. That's true LOVE right there."

Thank you Derek. I wish you could truly understand how deeply your words inspire me everyday. And everyday I get up, out of my comfort zone and push, because when I finish my morning cardio, I can't help but wipe the sweat off my face and think how much I've learned how to love myself in such a short time. I've learned how to put myself first, and it's made me such a happy person. Happier than I've ever been in my life.

Thank you Richard, for your kindness, tenacity, and love of the sport. Thank you for showing me what I'm capable of, and showing me how strong I am, mentally and physically. Thank you for pushing me until I couldn't give, and still asking for more. I look in the mirror everyday and sometimes I just stare in shock. I look at pictures of myself from months back and sometimes I don't even recognize myself, the girl before who was just trying to find her way with no set goals. Thank you for tearing me down and building me back up again. Oftentimes I wonder where and who I'd be without you. Could I have made this blog without you? I doubt it. Thank you for giving me purpose, for giving me goals, for showing me how to tolerate pain for the reward of improvement. I've learned so much from you, and I'm excited at the thought that it's just going to get better post competition: bigger, stronger, leaner.

Derek and Richard, I'm not the most religious person, but I am truly blessed to have crossed paths with both of you. Your generosity and patience have touched me in so many ways. Every compliment I receive, every look of amazement I get from friends, everytime I'm in the weight room and I look in the mirror and I fall in love with what I see, I can't help but give thanks to both of you.

To all my friends and those who read my blog, thank you as well, thank you for taking the time to check me out. Thank you for believing I was beautiful when I didn't believe it myself. Thank you for boosting my self esteem when I was down in the dumps, and thank you for sparing a moment to peer into a small fraction of my life. This birthday has made me realize how lucky I really am, and all the amazing people I've met and the loyal ones that stuck around and made me smile. Thank you for just being there and just being you.

Unfortunately it's time for me to hit the sack, I've got the longest friday of my life tomorrow, followed by a ridiculous weekend of cardio, studying and grocery shopping (oh I always look forward to costco :] ). Please don't be shy and leave me a comment, I love reading them. Have a good night :)

An amazing birthday surprise.

Seriously, I have the greatest trainer and roommate ever. I come home from a long day to this lovely surprise:

Thanks guys for everything. This was totally the best birthday ever. Whey protein (lots of it) makes kimmy really really happy :] I feel so loved!! Thank you to everyone for remembering and all the well wishes. I'm so amazed and grateful for all the kindness everyone has given me :]

6 weeks out

Here's the profile (relaxed) shots for the week:



My back has leaned out so so much!! Boy did I shrink from behind..and of course, we have to do a photo progress of the abs :)

Slowly but surely they're coming in :) Just have to get rid of that pesky lower ab fat..nothing some cardio can't clean up :)

This is how NOT to do a quad abdominal pose..

ahh..much better now :)

side relaxed..blah i always forget where to put my feet.

Front double bi..this actually doesn't look too bad..I look very well proportioned :)

Front relaxed is looking better too :)

this one definitely needs some work..

Check out some before pictures of me.

This was me 4th of July weekend (almost 3 months ago?)..wow I didn't imagine myself being so chubby :-/

That's my trainer and us doing some horrendous posing haha..I was probably 145 around that time

The bruise is from when I started doing front squats..my legs could handle the weight but my skin/shoulders couldn't..my blood vessels are so sensitive and I bruise easily..and I need to open up my eyes for the camera haha.

Here I am trying to get my protein fix in DC..one thing that hasn't changed is my legs..they've always been big on me.

Alright, it's time for the dreaded cardio..think I'm going to split it up and do two 1-hour blocks this morning (I decided I wanted cereal and baked lays potato chips today). Hopefully I can multitask on the elliptical. Have a lovely Sunday :)

Excitement, and a little bit of math.

Cereal makes me sooooo happy. Carbs make me so happy. Especially high GI carbs. Wow, I don't ever think I've looked this forward to eating cereal ever. Oh and skim milk. I would die without milk. But unfortunately that delicious box of peanut butter crunch comes at a hefty price. I have to pay the cost/ "pay to play" as my posing instructor likes to call it.

Basically, carbs = cardio. I have to earn every gram of carb I consume. Roughly, that box has 15 servings, and 21 grams of carbs in every serving, so if my math skills are sharp, 21x15 = 315 grams of carbs. But that's just the cereal alone. Let's not forget the skim milk, which has about 13 grams of carbs per 8 fl. oz (240 mL) serving. Let's theoretically say I have half a gallon of milk with a whole box of peanut butter crunch. Half a gallon = 64 fl. oz = 8 servings x 13 grams of carbs  = 104 grams of carbs. In total, 315 + 104 = 419 grams of carbs x 4 calories/gram of carb = 1676 calories. I burn about 330 calories/hour on the elliptical, so 1676/330 = 5.08 hours on the elliptical to make that cereal and milk disappear. But thank goodness I will not be spending that much time on cardio :)

To maintain my muscle, I'd also have to eat about 120 grams of protein x 4 calories/gram of protein = 480 calories. Overall, my maintenance calories come out to 1725 calories - 480 calories for protein = 1245 calories for carbs (if I don't eat any fat) / 4 calories per gram of carb = 311.25 grams of carbs I'm allowed for tomorrow. Enter the "pay to play" scenario. Since I want to eat 350 grams of carbs tomorrow (yes I know I'm greedy) I hit the elliptical. If I do 90 minutes in the morning and 35 minutes at night, and I burn about 4 calories per minute, 125x4 = 500 calories. That puts my maintenance calories to 2225 calories - 480 calories = 1745 calories/4 calories per gram of carb = 436.25 grams of carbs. But I'll limit myself to 350 grams because I'm still trying to cut fat and drop weight while having my carbs at the same time too :) So it all works out, I just have to pay the price of a long cardio session first thing in the morning :( Always remember, if you want carbs, it's gonna cost you time on the elliptical :(

I'm a walking train wreck.

If it isn't one thing it's another. I got some x-rays taken of my right shoulder and everything seems to be fine--I just seem to have a muscle strain on my right shoulder because it's overcompensating for the weakness in my left shoulder. Good news, which means I just need to rest it post competition.

However, I've been struggling with this pain in my lower back..I threw out my back a few weeks ago during a lift, and the pain went away, but now it's back :( I also did standing calf raises at 220lbs, and I'm sure that aggravated my back too, but I was so proud I broke 215!! It sucks because I couldn't do deadlifts this week because of this nagging pain. Ugh. I'm scheduling another appointment to have an x-ray taken of my back (hopefully I didn't slip a disc or anything and that it's just another strain). I'm trying to train through the pain but somedays it really sucks.

I had my first meeting for the competition last night, and a fair amount of girls came out. Looks like around 15 girls will be competing this year, so I gotta really step my workouts up and push really really hard. I'm less than 7 weeks away, so I'm really really close to the end. It's exciting to feel like the big day is coming up soon :)

In terms of cutting, I'm very close to my initial goal of 120lbs--currently I'm at 128.9. I'm trying my hardest to get to 128 by this Sunday--a delicious box of peanut butter crunch awaits me :) If I can get to 120lbs by 4 weeks out, I'm definitely shooting for 115 precontest--so lean!! :) Hopefully I can get really close.

7 weeks out..and they're coming :]

check me out playing around at posing practice tonight..they're almost here!! all that cardio is finally paying off :)

oh man I can't wait to be competition ready..too bad I don't look like that now, yet this is what my abs normally look like:

of course, my posing still needs work. Here's a shot of me trying to figure out where to place my hands in the side relaxed pose..I'm so forgetful!!

Here's most muscular/quad abdominal pose..once my abs get really shredded this pose will be much more flattering..for now, not my strongest presentation:

Believe it or not, front relaxed is extremely difficult for me. I need to learn how to flare out those blasted lats of mine!! Still working on it..

Check out my hamstring and how cinched my waist looks in this pose..just a little more practice and I'll have it down :)